DANGER! DANGER! Brain eating Magpies!
Yes yes, I know what your thinking....Magpies don't eat brains, they eat bread and fruit and twiggy stuff.
WELL THINK AGAIN!
This morning I arrived 10mins earlier to my bus stop so I decided to have a ciggie.
Now, as I understand they have banned smoking at bus stops, smoking on the street(?), smoking in your own home, smoking in a crack den...etc
I never, ever thought the government of this mighty continent would employ Magpies to ensure the smokers in this land don't light up in these places....OMG.
Let me tell you, I am lucky to have picked up a Beat magazine from the Tote on my way down Johnson St....otherwise I'd be dead. Laying lifeless on Hoddle St with the contents of my bag spread across the footpath, my wallet missing and my shoes as well. Yes, the work shoes Judith.
This bird went straight for my temple.....It opened its beak on the swoop down to reveal a sucking device...Yes, a sucking device which is used to suck brains out. I know this from my recent studies of cannibalism which still exists in certain parts of Borneo.
So to all my fellow smokers, to all my fellow readers.....PLEASE, TAKE CARE. Your at risk of not only developing a really gross illnesses and stuff. Your also at risk of losing your brain.
I know, I came close. I was lucky to get away safely, even if I have lost my mind. But, as you all know....This happened long before the Magpie incident.
Love beans, because they love you.
WELL THINK AGAIN!
This morning I arrived 10mins earlier to my bus stop so I decided to have a ciggie.
Now, as I understand they have banned smoking at bus stops, smoking on the street(?), smoking in your own home, smoking in a crack den...etc
I never, ever thought the government of this mighty continent would employ Magpies to ensure the smokers in this land don't light up in these places....OMG.
Let me tell you, I am lucky to have picked up a Beat magazine from the Tote on my way down Johnson St....otherwise I'd be dead. Laying lifeless on Hoddle St with the contents of my bag spread across the footpath, my wallet missing and my shoes as well. Yes, the work shoes Judith.
This bird went straight for my temple.....It opened its beak on the swoop down to reveal a sucking device...Yes, a sucking device which is used to suck brains out. I know this from my recent studies of cannibalism which still exists in certain parts of Borneo.
So to all my fellow smokers, to all my fellow readers.....PLEASE, TAKE CARE. Your at risk of not only developing a really gross illnesses and stuff. Your also at risk of losing your brain.
I know, I came close. I was lucky to get away safely, even if I have lost my mind. But, as you all know....This happened long before the Magpie incident.
Love beans, because they love you.
posted by Jelkie at 1:04 PM
4 Comments:
GREAT!!! It's the first day of spring and the Magpies are already swooping!!! I would use a different bus stop if I were you. There appears to be a magpie nest near you.
They are EVERYWHERE! is it the first day of spring really? hmmm. that explains the national geographic porn i saw on the way through the park today.....hmm.
Well... It's certainly my week of stupidity.
It's the first day of autumn, not spring.
So I think your initial Magpie Anti-Smoking Theory is correct.
Now... where's my dunce cap?
that still doesn't explain the possum and the rat....
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