mel gibson

sexy

i'm taking notes on how to treat the mother of my children.

i actually met a guy over here that reminds me of mel.

he grunts at me - that's his way of "courting me"

a reconstruction of events, if you will:

M: Oi

J: excuse me? are you referring to muah?

M: yeahhhhh. why didn't you come out last night? you said you would and my mates were gonna get you to get with me

J: ahh, your mates were going to get "me" to "get" with "you?" How would that even be possible?

M: oh they have their ways

J: what like, rohypnol?

M: what? whats that?

J: ROW-IES?

M: yeah, anyway you should get with me

J: (imagining neanderthal dragging supposed "jane" back to the cave for a rump in the woods) yeah, ok............gotta go mate

M: come on man, just because your croatian and i'm serbian doesn't mean we can't get it on

(get it on..........?!)

J: no, that's right....HOWEVER, the fact that your such the gentleman kinda has more bearing on that conclusion

M: what?

J: which bit?

M: you use big words

..............oh my god.......