unemployment is no laughing matter

what possessed me to throw in my career and become a bum?

as i sit sipping a coffee, looking into my bag at two $5 notes and wondering how i am going to pay next weeks rent, i can't help but feel a little bit anxious

what the fuck am i doing here?

i had this image in my head, that i would come back here and take two casual jobs, concentrate on things that had to do with me and save my little Croatian arse off so i could get the fuck out of here

instead, i end up working a few cameo shifts in a bar in town - don't know how much i am being paid, if at all, spending my days reading and freaking out about how the fuck i am going to get out of this place without being in financial ruin or locked up in a loony bin

i mean, i HAVE job offers, i just don't want to do any of those things. pay cuts of up to $20K is a lot to take - needless to say the ego becomes affected too...

it feels like a concrete pylon in my chest

it feels like i am further away from what i dreamed and hoped for then ever before

there has to be more than this

THAN this

my reasons for leaving multi national hospitality corporations and situations should be enough for me to keep my chin up high and concentrate on realising my own goals..................

concrete pylon suffocates the wanting to break from the victim of corporation kaka to the womens pioneer hall of fame


blah blah blah whinge whinge whinge

i am not one of those pull-string dolls that when you pull it's string it cries out

but fuck i feel like one