Shesh Kebab-a-Boogaloo....Electric Mind You
And there she stood faced with her worst nightmare. Or rather, Australia's worst nightmare.
The Jana Pittman impersonator snarled at Sheshica and then began to huff and puff in such a loud commotion, everyone stopped the boogie at once.
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! My gold! My gold! MINE!" The Jana Pittman impersonator screamed.
Shesh retracted for a moment.
"Hang on" she thought...."This ISN'T a Jana Pittman impersonator! Just because it looked like a man in a dress....This IS Jana Pittman!"
Shesh began screaming out to all the Suits to make a run for it "Run! Run! Run! Get the fuck outta here! It's really the Drama and she's gonna BLOWWWWWWWW!"
The Suits made a run for it. Quickly scurrying about the city streets of the Melb, looking for shelter, looking for a safe haven. Looking for SOMEWHERE to endure the storm that would no doubt shortly follow, and then only to be followed by Woman's Day write ups.
Crap.
Shesh did not confront the Pitt until the entire block was cleared.
The Pitt respected this, as dirty a skank she is. The Pitt waited to face Shesh fairly and respectfully.
This made Shesh nervous, "What do you mean she's not trying to get a head start? Or hasn't tried to kick me in the hammey while I wasn't looking....?"
Shesh quickly realised this was part of the Drama's tactical game plan.
Shesh matched this quickly by calling Paris Hilton and having a 15 minute chat about leg warmers.....They're coming back you know....
This made the Drama very VERY angry.
The Drama began to growl in a very unfashionable manner. Shesh excused herself from the Hilton and turned to face the Pitt.
"Lets go skank" bellowed Shesh in the most Geelong type accent known to her.
"BRRRRRRRRAAAAAH!" Responded the Pitt.
And it was all on yo.
The Pitt began running in circles around the block, hurdling over bins, benches, even newspaper stalls.
Shesh responded to this by performing the electric boogaloo upon various objects, ie: Cars; benches; tram tracks; (which is very difficult-max slip factor) and also managed to boogaloo up a wall onto the top of the Kleins Jewelers.
Score!
Shesh was quickly on her way to winning the boogaloo/hurdle off.
The Pitt realised this and searched the options available to her. The only way she could win this would either be hurdling over the Myer walking bridge or by stating that she was under extreme psychological trauma following the birth of herself......Therefore winning our sympathies, therefore taking the lime light....etc,etc
The Pitt being a Drama thought the latter was too easy, she really wanted to give it a go....
She approached the walking bridge at a speed of about Pitt an hour, ie: 58km's a second....Shesh stood watching in horror/amazement/shock/slash/excitement ie: many emotions.
Drama lifted one leg, the other.....and and and
SPLATT!
The drama impaled herself on a Myer Sale flag.
Shesh called out to the Suits hiding in the crevices of the Melb. "Come out! Come out! It's all over, she won't bother us anymore! Australia is free! Free! FREE!"
But no one came out to witness Shesh's celebratory boogaloo.
They were all too busy lining up in the newsagencies waiting to buy the new issue of Womans Day, so they could read about Australia's golden hurdle girl, who impaled herself on a Myer Sale flag, as she attempted to apparently save the human race from boogaloo-ration, but she failed coz she sucks dead dogs balls and she was emotionally traumatised at the time of the show down.
Shesh didn't care though.
She just kept on with the boogaloo.
Go Shesh, you fine piece of boogie you.
The Jana Pittman impersonator snarled at Sheshica and then began to huff and puff in such a loud commotion, everyone stopped the boogie at once.
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! My gold! My gold! MINE!" The Jana Pittman impersonator screamed.
Shesh retracted for a moment.
"Hang on" she thought...."This ISN'T a Jana Pittman impersonator! Just because it looked like a man in a dress....This IS Jana Pittman!"
Shesh began screaming out to all the Suits to make a run for it "Run! Run! Run! Get the fuck outta here! It's really the Drama and she's gonna BLOWWWWWWWW!"
The Suits made a run for it. Quickly scurrying about the city streets of the Melb, looking for shelter, looking for a safe haven. Looking for SOMEWHERE to endure the storm that would no doubt shortly follow, and then only to be followed by Woman's Day write ups.
Crap.
Shesh did not confront the Pitt until the entire block was cleared.
The Pitt respected this, as dirty a skank she is. The Pitt waited to face Shesh fairly and respectfully.
This made Shesh nervous, "What do you mean she's not trying to get a head start? Or hasn't tried to kick me in the hammey while I wasn't looking....?"
Shesh quickly realised this was part of the Drama's tactical game plan.
Shesh matched this quickly by calling Paris Hilton and having a 15 minute chat about leg warmers.....They're coming back you know....
This made the Drama very VERY angry.
The Drama began to growl in a very unfashionable manner. Shesh excused herself from the Hilton and turned to face the Pitt.
"Lets go skank" bellowed Shesh in the most Geelong type accent known to her.
"BRRRRRRRRAAAAAH!" Responded the Pitt.
And it was all on yo.
The Pitt began running in circles around the block, hurdling over bins, benches, even newspaper stalls.
Shesh responded to this by performing the electric boogaloo upon various objects, ie: Cars; benches; tram tracks; (which is very difficult-max slip factor) and also managed to boogaloo up a wall onto the top of the Kleins Jewelers.
Score!
Shesh was quickly on her way to winning the boogaloo/hurdle off.
The Pitt realised this and searched the options available to her. The only way she could win this would either be hurdling over the Myer walking bridge or by stating that she was under extreme psychological trauma following the birth of herself......Therefore winning our sympathies, therefore taking the lime light....etc,etc
The Pitt being a Drama thought the latter was too easy, she really wanted to give it a go....
She approached the walking bridge at a speed of about Pitt an hour, ie: 58km's a second....Shesh stood watching in horror/amazement/shock/slash/excitement ie: many emotions.
Drama lifted one leg, the other.....and and and
SPLATT!
The drama impaled herself on a Myer Sale flag.
Shesh called out to the Suits hiding in the crevices of the Melb. "Come out! Come out! It's all over, she won't bother us anymore! Australia is free! Free! FREE!"
But no one came out to witness Shesh's celebratory boogaloo.
They were all too busy lining up in the newsagencies waiting to buy the new issue of Womans Day, so they could read about Australia's golden hurdle girl, who impaled herself on a Myer Sale flag, as she attempted to apparently save the human race from boogaloo-ration, but she failed coz she sucks dead dogs balls and she was emotionally traumatised at the time of the show down.
Shesh didn't care though.
She just kept on with the boogaloo.
Go Shesh, you fine piece of boogie you.
posted by Jelkie at 7:00 PM
15 Comments:
i don't understand why....
the jana is no laughing matter little miss....tsk tsk tsk
hahaha YES! perhaps we should do a pet cemetery on yo asses and tax a bit of marlana days of our lives action.
The jana can come back from the grave, after a state funeral. bigger and better, more dramatic, with big green ears maybe?
shesh's new super hero role will be to help save the innocent boring lives of the suits and in return she gets unlimited boogaloo actions where ever she likes....?!
omg omg omg! can jana be like a brain eating mutant who needs to keep sucking brains so she can survive?
YES!
this is fucking great!
i see a series of novels
i see john so making a cameo
i also see nicole ritchie and me going out on a date
no i get misha too
don't be greedy
The reflection off jana's gold medal (before she gave it to the english 4x 100m relay team) suggests that she will throw hurdles at the both of you and steal Ritchie & Mischa.
Fuck off Shesh.
No she won't.
She can't.
Go save the Suits
But during the kidnapping of the co founders of the Low Carb Club there is a fatal incident !
The SNAP
in half
She decides she needs two replacement sex slaves
now this is FINALLY getting interesting.
i would like to nominate anjelica houston as the pimp lady
give?
coz she's the hottest old bird in the world.
are we boys?
But the pimp lady is in debt to her crack dealer.
And her girls catch a bad case of genital herpes.........
dude......!
genital wrongness!
can sally from home and away have a lesbian affair with jana?
No gretal beat her to it
i want snoop doggy dog's nephew little bow wow to be the crack dealer
and ana nicole smith can be his drug pig lover
HOT
Jana cathes the herpes and they spread to her leading hurdle leg....
Crack much?
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