To whom it may concern,

Yesterday I received a letter from the Victorian Government requesting I put forward a proposal to go into the running to be the next State Elected Mortadella Cabinet Minister.

Upon reading the letter I suffered many physical side effects which were as follows:

Acute respitory failure

Heart Attack-Heart Attack-Your giving me a

Condensation of the Eye Sockets

Golden Shower of the Froo Froo Undie Area


So anyhoo, I decided to refrain from contacting the number which was listed on the letter until I got to work this morning so I didn't have to pay for the call.

Upon calling the number I was greeted with the following message:

"Good morning and welcome to the Dupond Dependable customer feedback line. Your call is important to us and we ask that you not pee your pants too much waiting for a customer service operator to take your call......"

Seems like SOMEONE is playing a bit of a practical joke on the jelkie....hmph.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted........I rection it was the girl from Jen Cloher.....the one that's missing her Nando's patch....biznitch....Im onta ya yo