Height restriction Law passed today 27/03/06
At 9am today, Eastern standard time, the Government announced the decision to divide all Australian's.
For years Height-itains have been lobbying against those classed as the "Shorter Folk", to be deported back to a place where misgivings, such as height are more tolerated - Tasmania.
And it was not just the Height-itians who have been lobbying against those who are classed as being "Too Short", there were also submissions from the Roller Coaster Industry, otherwise known as the RCI and also the Ice Cream Truck Association, otherwise known as the ICRA.
Chairman Alan John Lucifer, from Hell Bent National Roller Coasters is quoted as saying the following: "Never in my lifetime, have I seen the Roller Coaster Industry suffer so greatly as what it is at this point in time. If only we could get rid of those short arses, so they stop inter-breeding with the NORMAL people - therefore causing smaller generations, we're going to have to commence making more kiddie sized Coasters, like the Little Beastie that we constructed at Australia's Wonderland."
Luke Licker Rainbow, CEO of Mr Whippy Mobile Slippy, who is working alongside the Ice Cream Truck Association's plea - And also a former pornography star has published a formal statement in People Magazine: "I have learnt a lot from my past.
Short people are only good for one thing.
The many movies I starred in, with shorter then Normal folk, were indeed fun to make, however, sold poorly because of height restrictions when my co-star was not on his/her knees.
As I emerged from the Pornographic Industry and entered the Mr Whippy Mobile Slippy van franchise I realised that because we can not see our customers, we are in fact loosing up to 45% revenue each financial year.
Let us come together and not allow their inadequacies restrict OUR growth!"
It is believed that the shorter people of Australia, those under the height of 5 '7 will be receiving notification via Australia Post regarding the deportation procedures.
The problem, however, is that the shortest people in Australia are mostly employed by Australia Post. So the Government is considering contracting the runaway Sierra Leone team to hand deliver these notifications.
It is also reported that should the distribution of these notifications prove successful, the Sierra Leone team may stand a chance of being granted a "Holiday" in Naru Detention Facility.
More updates on the story as it unfolds.
For years Height-itains have been lobbying against those classed as the "Shorter Folk", to be deported back to a place where misgivings, such as height are more tolerated - Tasmania.
And it was not just the Height-itians who have been lobbying against those who are classed as being "Too Short", there were also submissions from the Roller Coaster Industry, otherwise known as the RCI and also the Ice Cream Truck Association, otherwise known as the ICRA.
Chairman Alan John Lucifer, from Hell Bent National Roller Coasters is quoted as saying the following: "Never in my lifetime, have I seen the Roller Coaster Industry suffer so greatly as what it is at this point in time. If only we could get rid of those short arses, so they stop inter-breeding with the NORMAL people - therefore causing smaller generations, we're going to have to commence making more kiddie sized Coasters, like the Little Beastie that we constructed at Australia's Wonderland."
Luke Licker Rainbow, CEO of Mr Whippy Mobile Slippy, who is working alongside the Ice Cream Truck Association's plea - And also a former pornography star has published a formal statement in People Magazine: "I have learnt a lot from my past.
Short people are only good for one thing.
The many movies I starred in, with shorter then Normal folk, were indeed fun to make, however, sold poorly because of height restrictions when my co-star was not on his/her knees.
As I emerged from the Pornographic Industry and entered the Mr Whippy Mobile Slippy van franchise I realised that because we can not see our customers, we are in fact loosing up to 45% revenue each financial year.
Let us come together and not allow their inadequacies restrict OUR growth!"
It is believed that the shorter people of Australia, those under the height of 5 '7 will be receiving notification via Australia Post regarding the deportation procedures.
The problem, however, is that the shortest people in Australia are mostly employed by Australia Post. So the Government is considering contracting the runaway Sierra Leone team to hand deliver these notifications.
It is also reported that should the distribution of these notifications prove successful, the Sierra Leone team may stand a chance of being granted a "Holiday" in Naru Detention Facility.
More updates on the story as it unfolds.
posted by Jelkie at 10:27 PM
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